The one that got away
by Phelpsgirlxxx
Summary: What if Fred and Harry were lovers? How would Fred's death affected Harry? Warnings: Slash Fred/Harry Warnings: Suicide ONESHOT


**Hi its Phelpsgirlxxx. I wrote this ages ago and have been waiting all this time to upload it and now seemed as good as time as any! This is a oneshot. If you don't like slash, then don't read. Simples. **

**Disclaimer: All the Characters and the whole Harry Potter universe belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

Harrys Pov

Fred was dead and the pain was unbearable. If felt like a million knives were being plunged into my heart. How could he be dead? Fred was one of the strongest people I knew. He was my rock in hard times. He was everything to me and when he had asked me to marry him I had been over joyed. We had decided to get married after the war and it would mainly be a purely wizarding ceremony as we didn't know many muggles we would invite, Hermiones parents were going to be the only ones as none of my relatives would have wanted to come.

Everyone knew of Fred and I's relationship but everyone had thought I would just get over it like every other death. George understood. He knew. I hadn't spoken to George much as we had both been lost in our grief. Hermione sort of understood but was never good at feelings or reassurance so she didn't speak to me or reassure me that it would be alright and with that I was glad. I knew it wouldn't be alright. It wouldn't.

I spent days in a room at The Burrow one of Freds old t-shirts clasped tightly to me. It still smelled of him and it always swept throught me with a wave of longing. Why had he died? People had loved him and always would, no matter how long. I sort of drifted about the next couple of days. I didn't speak. I didn't eat. I hardly slept and only drank when it was necissery.

The day of Freds funeral came and I stood up tears streaming down my face. I walked to the podium and opened my mouth to talk. The words caught in my throat and I tried again. No words formed. In the end I opened my mouth and said one very short sentence.

" RIP Fred."

It was all I could choke out. Nothing more would come yet there was so much more I wanted to say just in case Fred could hear. People looked at me with pity and understanding yet I knew most of them didn't understand. They had no idea. I knew they had lost loved ones but Fred was my everything. He kept me together. If it wasn't for Fred I would have died by now.

He had saved me every since we began going out the begining of my third year. Fred had always been there even if it was behind the scenes. He had held me if I had cried and I had returned the favour. He had helped mop me up after Umbridge and her bloody quill. He had been there whenever I needed him and now he was gone.

The one person I knew I would ever love. The one person that could make me smile while I was crying. The one that could stop my nightmares. The one that could make me feel whole again. The one I could use as a shoulder to cry on. The one who made sure I was fine. The one who cared about me on these adventures whether I lived or not but not because I was the Boy-Who-Lived and destined to kill Voldy. The one that I loved with every fibre of my being.

George spoke next about Fred always being there for him and being his brother, twin and most of all best friend and partner in crime. I didn't listen to much of it as I was to caught up in my own grief. When the funeral was over I didn't leave. Everyone else did. I sat next to Freds grave and cried.

And cried.

And cried.

Why had he died? I knew it was my fault. No one would look at me and that made me even more sure than before. I knew what they were thinking. Harry you should have died. Harry you don't deserve to live. Why didn't you die? I sighed and looked at my watch. It was half past seven and the funeral had finished six hours ago and I hadn't noticed.

I apparated into Grimmauld knowing what I had to do. It would make them so much happier. It would make me whole again. I would feel love once more and not see the looks of pity. My life no longer held meaning for me without Fred or without having to off Voldy.

I climbed into the room that had been Fred and Georges and sat down on the bed that Fred had used. I wrote a letter saying sorry and placed it on the desk. I picked up the knife that I had brought from the kitchen. I twiddled it between my fingers. I placed it against my skin experimentedly. I cut in and no cry of pain escaped me. I was numb with my own grief. I cut five lines on each as it had been nearly five years Fred and I had been together.

I sighed and then turned to the next wrist. I once more cut five times and the blood flowed from me fast and freely. I lay back on the bed. I was exhausted. I was glad that it worked quickly as I had no wishes to stay attached to this earth. I lay back down and whispered four words.

" I love you Fred."

Hermiones Pov

" Hermione have you seen Harry recently?" Mrs Weasley asked.

" Not since the funeral."

" Hmm its been four days. I think one of us should go visit him can you do so?"

" Of course Mrs Weasley."

I apparated into Grimmauld place and walked to Harrys room, it was empty. I nodded and checked Sirius's room. That too was empty. It was then that Freds room occured to me. It took me a moment to remember which one it was as it had been nearly three years and I had never visited it myself.

I opened the door and screamed.

And screamed.

And screamed.

Harrys dead body lay on one of the beds and dried blood covered the room. I looked closely at the hands and saw he was clutching two things. One was a picture of him and Fred laughing happily and the other was a long knife stained with his own blood.

I turned sideways and was sick all over the floor. My best friend of seven years was dead. He had killed himself as he had been in so much pain. I did wonder whether he had left a letter or something and I saw that he had. I knew I needed to call the rest of them before I read it. It was adressed to everyone so it was only right.

I cast a patronus though it was a lot harder than usual. I normally had difficulty with it anyway but with being able to see Harry dead in front of me made it so much worse. I spoke to the patronus clearly and then it disappeared from sight.

Mrs Weasleys Pov

" EVERYONE COME TO GRIMMAULD PLACE NOW! EVERYONE! THIS IS IMPORTANT!" Hermiones voice rang out.

Everyone else was stood in the room as they had come running out after hearding it. They all looked worried or curious as to what was so important.

" Right everyone apparate unless you can't then get someone to take you." I commanded and everyone nodded.

" Right then."

With that I apparated away.

Hermiones Pov

I was sat against the wall as far from Harrys body as possible as I sobbed loudly. My first friend was gone and I knew it was because he was heartbroken but also because he did not believe he was worth it. He never saw what his uses were and without the two things really holding him to this life he had left it.

I was sad that I hadn't been able to be the one to help him as I was one of his best friends and like a sister to him. However in that time I had not comforted him. I hadn't been that good of a friend to him over the past year. I had near enough ignored him when Ron had been gone and ever since the war I had been celebrating and having fun and was with Ron all the time when it was clear Harry needed me.

A minute later the Weasleys rushed in and gasped. Mrs Weasley burst out crying and Mr Weasley had brought his arms around her. George had tears streaming down his face but this was no longer a rare occurance. Fleur was crying. Charlie and Bill were pale. Percy looked shocked. Ginny was pale and crying as she had been friends with Harry. Ron was furious but at himself.

" I am a horrible best friend. It was clear Harry was in pain and like every other time he really needed me I wasn't there. I should have been there for him. I was meant to help him." He ranted.

" Son, there was nothing you could do." Mr Weasley said.

" Theres a letter." George choked out.

" Can someone read it out?" Fleur asked.

" I will." I volunteered.

" Go on then." Percy said.

"Dear Weasleys and Hermione,

If you have found me then you will know I am dead. I am sorry I couldn't stick around and I hope you are truly happier without me. I was a waste of air. I had nothing to offer to this world. My one love died and I no longer had any purpose. Please do not blame youselves if you are thinking about it which I doubt.

I was ready to go. Without Fred my entire life was pointless. I need him more so than I needed air. He was my everything. He was one of the main reasons I fought as long as I did. If not I bet you would have gotten this letter maybe two or three years earlier.

I will miss you. You were all my family.

Tell Luna, Seamus, Neville, Dean and Hagrid that I will miss them to pieces. Good luck with the rest of your lives. When you die if you ever want to see me again find me. I will be there. I will miss you all.

Love Harry."

" Hes dead." George whispered.

" Hes at peace now." Percy said placing a hand on Georges shoulder.

" Fred will look after him now as will his parents." I said.

" We will miss you too Harry." Ron said.

" Good luck little brother." Bill and Charlie whispered in sinc.

" Au Revior 'Arry." Fleur whispered.

" We will meet again." I said and everyone nodded their agreement.

" Harry you were loved I loved you as my son." Mrs Weasley whispered.

" As did I Harry. We are sorry we couldn't give you anything to live for rest in peace son." Mr Weasley said.

" Goodbye Harry Potter."

Freds Pov

We stood there watching their reactions. I had an arm around his shoulder and his head was rested on mine. His eyes were bright unlike the lifeless emeralds they had been for the past few days.

" Harry why didn't you wait? I would have waited."

" I need you Fred. I love you." He whispered.

" As I love you."

He smiled and blinked sleepily.

" Come on Love lets go home."

THE END.


End file.
